Book Summary: "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi

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the rational male by rollo tomassi 0

The Basics

ONEitis: An unhealthy romantic obsession with a single person. Usually accompanied by unreciprocated affection and completely unrealistic idealization of the said person.

There is no ONE. There are some good Ones and there are some bad Ones, but there is no ONE.

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

Real Power is the degree to which a person has control over their own circumstances. Real Power is the degree to which we actually control the directions of our lives.

Whether in a monogamous marriage, LTR or a one night stand(ONS), strive for genuine desire in your relationships.

Women never want full disclosure. Nothing is more self-satisfying for a woman that to think she’s figured a Man out based solely on her mythical feminine intuition (i.e. imagination).

Rejection is better than Regret.

90% of the dilemmas AFCs(Average Frustrated Chump) find themselves in, and a majority of men’s concerns, with the opposite sex find, their roots in the methods and means they use to reduce their exposure to female rejection. These are buffers meant to reduce the potential for this rejection of intimacy.

  1. LDRs — Long Distance Relationships.
  2. Playing Friends.
  3. Email, IMs and Texts.
  4. Facebook & Online Dating.
  5. Objectification of gender.
  6. Idealization of Gender.
  7. Scarcity Mentality.
  8. Older Women, Younger Women.
  9. Leagues
  10. Pornography

You are not Alpha because of your achievements, you have your achievements because you are Alpha. You possess a mindset you either had to develop or it came naturally to you. Alpha behaviors are manifestations of an Alpha mindset.

To be Alpha implies that you necessarily rise above a certain degree of common mediocrity depending upon context.

Plate Theory

When a man spins more plates, when he has irons in the fire, when he is pursuing multiple women simultaneously, when he has options equally worth exploring, a man will have a natural, subconscious understanding that if one prospect does not expand, others very well may.

Spinning more plates allows you more opportunity to select from the largest pool of prospective choices and date them or drop them as you see fit. This has two benefits. First, it serves as valuable, though non-committed, experience for learning what a man requires for his own personal satisfaction. Secondly, opportunity and options make a man the prize.

Women would rather share a high value Man that be saddled with a faithful loser.

Women communicate covertly, with gesture, with looks, with veiled meanings — you have to communicate your intent to be non-exclusive covertly. Never overly tell a woman you’ve got other plates than her spinning. Allow her to discover this by your mannerisms, your behaviors, and definitely by your availability to her.

Confidence derived from the options of non-exclusive women in hand, and from having successfully generated those options in the past.

A truly powerful Man jealously guards his most precious resources; his independence and hist ability to maneuver. In other words his options and his ability to exercise them.

True power isn’t about controlling others, but the degree to which you control the course of your own life and your own choices.

Regardless, whatever your reasons, women should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life, never the focus o it. When you start living for a woman you become that woman.

You cannot help anyone until you’ve first helped yourself.

Monogamy is a dictate of the feminine imperative. It is the social contract that the feminine ultimately needs in order to quell a constant desire for security in a very chaotic world.

All women are sexual, you just need to be the right guy at the right time for the job.

Nothing serves a man better than having 3 or 4 women competing for his exclusive attention and fostering in them that feminine competitive anxiety in as subtle and covert a way as possible.

Plugged In

Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you’re not fucking her, you’re her girlfriend.

A man’s default response should always be to excuse him from the LJBF(let’s just be friends) situation.

LDR(long distance relationship)s are not relationships.

Guys cling to LDRs because they’ve yet to learn that Rejection is better than Regret.

The Savior Schema — the Beta male expectations of reciprocation of intimacy(usually sexual) for female problems solved.

Man and women cannot be friends in the way or to the degree that most people perceive same-sex friendship to be.

Part of being Alpha is your facility with male interactions. If all your friends are women this calls your Alpha cred into question from a woman.


The least attractive thing to most women is a man who is willing to compromise any part of his identity to placate to her, much less a wholesale selling-out of it. Women are naturally attracted to that masculine independence as it represents a very strong cue for security and the potential to provide that security to her.

When you alter yourself, or have your personality altered by an outside force, this is a threat to that predictability, so the logical counter is for others to attempt to put us back into our places.

The Man you wish to become requires you to take action. The goal posts for your own satisfaction will always keep moving away from you, and that’s a good thing. This is what inspires us to grow and mature and develop a capacity to overcome challenges. However, all this requires action on your part.

Women should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life, never the focus of it.

Men should be sexually, emotionally and relationally non-exclusive until age 30, but this is a minimal suggestion. I think 35 even serve better for Men. The importance being that as a Man ages and matures in his career, his ambitions and passions, his personality, his ability to better judge character, his overall understanding of behavior and motivations, etc., he becomes more valuable to the most desirable women and therefore enjoys better opportunity in this respect. Women’s sexual value decreases as they age and it’s at this point the balance tips into the maturing Man’s favor.

Women want to ‘want’ their men. Women want a Man who other men want to be, and other women want to fuck.

Our great danger in this life is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.


At its root level Game is a series of behavioral modifications to life skills based on psychological and sociological principles to facilitate intersexual relations between genders.

Women would rather share a successful Man that be attached to a faithful loser.

Peak years for women’s SMV tops out around 23 years. Fertility, desirability, sexual availability and really overall potential for male arousal and attention reach an apex between 22 to 24 years of age.

By are 36, the average man has reached his own relative SMV apex. It’s at this phase that his sexual/social/professional appeal has reached maturity. Assuming he’s maximized as much of his potential as possible, it’s at this stage that women’s hypergamous directives will find him the most acceptable for her long-term investment. He’s young enough to retain his physique in better part, but old enough to have attained social and professional maturity.

Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value to women.

You are who you believe you are, and you are who she perceives you to be.

We can alter our own personalities and have them altered by our conditions or any combination of the two, but to suggest that personality is static is a falsehood.

The guy who leans even marginally to the Jerk side of the spectrum becomes at least notable, and at best attractive, simply by dissociation from the masses of nice guys.

It’s far easier to believe that the world should change for you that to accept the truth that you need to improve yourself to get the things you want. It’s the lazy man’s path to disqualify or cheapen things that he desperately wants, but lacks the motivation to change himself to get.

Beta men fails to understand that opposites attract, and barring the notable exceptions, most women don’t want to marry other women, least of all a carbon copy of themselves.

Betas tend to stick with what worked for them, that was reinforced for them, in the past.

Comfort and trust are post-orgasm conditions; anxiety, arousal and sexual urgency are pre-orgasm conditions — and both have their own unique hormonal signatures.


When a woman wants to fuck you she’ll find a way to fuck you. If she’s fluctuating between being into you and then not, put her away for a while and spin other plates.

We get frustrated because women communicate differently than we do. Women communicate covertly, men communicate overtly. Men convey information, women convey feeling. In relating information, men prioritize context, women prioritize context.

Women want men to “just get it.” Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant, told to be confident, told to be anything they have on their list of prerequisites for their intimacy. Overtly relating this to a guy entirely defeats his credibility as a genuinely dominant male.

Communicate with your behavior. Never overtly tell a woman anything. Allow her to come to the conclusions you intend. Her imagination is the best tool in your Game toolbox. Learn how to use it.

Women NEVER want full disclosure.

Social Conventions

Individually we are only as superficial as our own self-perceptions allow, but the Shallow effect is a useful convention so long as it keeps men doubting their ingenuousness and self-validity in exchange for women’s intimacy.

Selection position insuring methodologies resolve around fomenting the Scarcity Mentality in men. If the value can be inflated, the value can be increased, thus ensuring a controlling frame.

Escape clause conventions always offer an out to a woman and absolve her of, or dramatically reduce her responsibility of personal accountability by means of social reinforcement.

Sexual competition sabotage is the reputation destroyer and it’s easy to observe this in the field. When women employ gossip it comes natural since it is an emotional form of communication, but the purpose of it is meant to disqualify a potential sexual competitor.

The function behind gender role redefinition could be promoting androgyny as an idealized state, or a power struggle to redefine masculine and feminine attributes, or even to ensure women as the primary selectors in mating.

The term ‘Quality’ woman is misnomer. Guys tend to apply this term at their leisure not so much to define what they’d like in a woman (which is actually an idealization), but rather to exclude women with whom they’d really had no chance with in the first place, or mistakenly applied too much effort and too much focus only to be rebuffed.

The most effective social conventions are ones in which the subject willingly sublimates his own interests, discourages questioning it, and predisposes that person on encourage and reinforce the convention with others. This is the essence of the Matrix; anything can become normal.


The social constructs which tells her to expect a man’s sacrifice, which normalizes his martyrdom, have evolved to better dissociate her own investment in her biological imperatives (i.e. Hypergamy).

Evolution has prepared her socially and psychologically for his sacrifice, and readies her to move to a better provisioning should one present itself in her surroundings. Likewise, men putting themselves in harms way is rooted in our competing for resources — in this case breeding rights.

Over the course of a woman’s life the priorities and criteria she holds for a ‘suitable’ mate fluctuate in response to the conditions she finds herself in. The criterion for short term coupling are much easier to demand when a woman is in her peak fertility phase of life and thus places these prerequisites above what she would find more desirable for a long-term pairing.

The most valuable bit of wisdom you can carry into a monogamy of your own decision and your own frame is to understand this sexual pluralism in women. Accept hypergamy as a woman’s operative state at all times.

The phase at which men are just becoming aware of their true long term value to women (usually around age 30) is almost exactly the phase in which women hope to press men unaware of their SMV into their long term provisioning schema.

No man in the history of humanity has ever fully or accurately vetted any woman he married. No man can ever accurately determine how the love of his life will change over the course of that lifetime.

It is a far healthier approach to accept the laws of power, the laws of Game, red pill awareness, Hypergamy, etc. and fashion of life around and understanding of them than to convince oneself that they are an exception to them.

Don’t wish things were easier, wish you were better.

Iron Rules

  1. Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of who’s frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are.

In order to establish a healthy male-frame, the first step is to rid themselves of the preconception that women control frame by default.

You will enter her reality or she will enter yours.

2. Never, under pain of death, honestly or dishonestly reveal the number of women you’ve slept with or explain any detail of your sexual experiences with them to a current lover.

3. Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

Genuine desire cannot be negotiated.

If she’s perceiving your value as high as it should be, she won’t hesitate longer than a few dates to become sexual — and she certainly won’t tell you she’s making you wait. Hypergamy doesn’t afford a woman much waiting time with a Man she sees as superior stock.

4. Never under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

Just don’t do it. Relationships last best when you spin more plates or at the very least keep others at arm’s distance.

Men who are spinning plates, men with options, men with ambition, rarely see cohabiting as anything but a limiting hindrance on their lives.

5. Never allow a woman to be in control of the birth.

The guy is an ‘idiot’ for not wearing a condom and taking responsibility for his actions, even if he’s led to believe she’s taking control of her contraception. He is the one penalized both financially and socially because of her choice.

6. Women are fundamentally incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved by a woman.

Men want to believe that they can be happy, and sexually satisfied, and appreciated, and loved, and respected by a woman for who he is. It is men who are the real romantics, not women.

Men believe in love for the sake of love, women love opportunistically. It’s not that either subscribe to unconditional love, it’s that both gender’s conditions for love differ

7. It is always time and effort better spend developing relations with new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship.

8. Always let a woman figure out why she wont fuck you, never do it for her.

9. Never seriously self-deprecate with a woman you intend to be intimate with.

Women operate in the sub-communications and when you overtly admit to a lack of confidence in yourself or your collective gender you may as well just LJBF yourself.


The real test for a man is how he lives with himself, alone.

The man who is comfortable with himself and confident in his true independence is the one that women will want to be associated with and to share in it.

No self-interested Man is ever going to be encountered to refute the idea that women are equally preoccupied with, equally aroused as, or equally desirous of sex as men are.

Women place importance upon looks according to their phase of life. The priorities and importance of characteristics that women will consider prerequisites for intimacy shift as her life’s conditions dictate.

A muscular athletic build has always been the masculine standard.

Game and a positive-masculine mindset are vital elements for your attractiveness and well-being, but they won’t make you look any better with your shirt off.

Feminine Imperative

For one gender to realize their sexual imperative the other must sacrifice their own. This is the root source of power the feminine imperative uses to establish its own reality as the normative one.

Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value to women.

Women don’t want a man to cheat, but they love a Man who could cheat.